I’ve shared a few times now how tough the lockdown has been for me personally, mainly due to my living circumstances which involve a tiny and super noisy (but cute..) apartment in the middle of Amsterdam which I share with Joren. The story of living somewhere too small and that we need to move has been there for quite some time, but before the lockdown we had managed to evade the issue by constantly traveling for work and recently working from other places in an effort to be outside the apartment during the day.

Well the lockdown really turned all this around, and with everything around us closed (co-working spaces, cafes etc.) we have been forced to work from home and deal with all the lack of space, noise and disruption that comes with. In the last week we even got scaffolding all around our building as the municipality thought it was a good time to repair the windows and put builders drilling and walking around our windows all day.

At the same time, Joren and I had to work hard to pivot our business to online offerings, if we wanted to pay our bills in time. Having to figure this out in a matter of a few weeks was tough to say the least, although also super activating as working online is something we had been wanting to do anyway.

Same as the house, we had been wanting to move for a while, but we were waiting for Feb this year so that we could apply for a mortgage when our business turned two years old.

End of Feb we were in Iceland for our latest expedition which we were very grateful to be able to carry out before the lockdown kicked in. Particularly tough weather conditions this time made this week very challenging - trying to move a group of people through heavy stormy snowfall which blocks roads in a matter of minutes in the middle of nowhere Iceland is hard and we had many of those moments to deal with. Nonetheless, it was a fantastic week full of challenging but deeply rewarding moments of unimaginable beauty and bonding between the group.

Coming back beginning of March we were exhausted, but we had some more work to attend to which meant we only really started the property viewing process towards the end of the month - the week before the lockdown started. We managed to view three properties, but with our finances not fully yet in place we weren’t in a position to move forward.

The week after suddenly our lives changed completely. We now had to stay at home all day if we wanted to work, and we really had to work if we wanted to have an income. With the schools closed, our usually quiet playground outside the window during the day, was now full of children all day long. Our usually absent neighbours during the day were all at home at once, playing music, having friends over, wanting to do repairs in their homes, inside and outside. And then of course came the scaffolding.

All and all - a complete nightmare!!!

Towards the end of week one and as I was nearing a nervous breakdown I reached out to a friend who I knew was recently renovating her new house in the north of the city, to see if we could possibly move there for a while. She said come along to see it! The next day we went, and as we were waiting for her to arrive we had a look around the quiet residential street with low two-storey attached houses, trees, and no one outside hanging out being noisy. And there as we looked, we saw a sign ‘for sale’ a few doors down from my friend’s house. We never had thought of looking in this part of the city, I for one hadn’t even ever spent much time around there. But there was a serenity and openness, and at the same time great proximity to the centre (like a 15min bike ride) that made this location very appealing all of a sudden.

We called immediately and made an appointment, and when we managed to view it the week after we realised it was exactly the same interior as my friend’s and at the same state as she got it (in need of complete renovation). But seeing hers fully renovated and ready gave us a great idea of how ours could become. We’re also talking about a duplex of double the size of anything we had been looking at in other parts of the city up until then which was a huge upgrade.

The asking price was within our budget, but quite higher than when my friend bought hers a few months back which was very frustrating knowing that we were buying the exact same property. Luckily for us, the agent that showed us the place was the same that sold my friend’s place to her, and so we were able to ask him about the increased price directly.

And here’s how being inside a lockdown period actually helped us secure the property for less money than it probably would otherwise. The agent told us that because of the lockdown viewings had dropped massively and at that time there was no other viewings yet. So we had no competition - which the weeks prior when we went to viewings we had another 20-30 people to bid against.

We had a week before the next viewing was planned and so if we were to make an offer we would have no competition. And so we did, and we offered a little over the asking price - which is what my friend paid, but not the standard ten percent extra that is usually required, as there was no one else. Two days later, our offer was accepted!

Against all the fear we had been exposed to up until then, that ‘it’s impossible to buy a property in Amsterdam these days’, that ‘the prices had risen massively’, that ‘the competition was too much’, we managed to secure a property in one month of viewings, and within the lockdown.

The next two weeks that followed were all about getting our finances in place - which was the most stressful and challenging part of the process. Having such a young business to show income from, and one that is in the self-development space offering something that is pretty out there and not necessarily fitting with the big institution mindset of banks lending mortgages. A process that should normally take one week, with the delays and chaos due to the lockdown we had to wait extra long, which given our living situation felt literally painful.

The fear of actually going ahead

And then we heard the news - our financing had been approved and we could go ahead with the purchase! We spent a few days totally elated in ecstacy with the prospect of our new lives, which made the living in the small apartment bearable for once.

Until the fear kicked in - the fear of actually going ahead with the biggest financial decision we both had ever made.

Could we really afford this? At a time when the future is so uncertain, and especially that of our business which mainly relied on traveling and in-person trainings. We had convinced the bank that we were in a place to afford a sudden pivot in our business by going online, and yes that is totally true - but we were at the beginning of this transition with no guarantees of success.

That’s when we understood that the expansion that comes the with purchase of our new home beats the fear and uncertainty of the times.

That moving into our new home will give us the space to grow, create and share, and this is exactly what gives us a sense of safety right now, not how much we get to save by continuing to live small and feeling trapped.

Trusting the process of growth & Acting from conscious intention

We knew that by making this new opening we would invite in so much opportunity to grow by feeling calmer, freer, more able to do the things we really want to do - which is to share our message and create offerings that help people live better lives!

This story is about acting intentionally from a place of trust in the process of growth - trusting that there isn't anything I have to fear if only I act according to my conscious intention.

This trust was further tested when after signing we were faced with the cost of a three-month-long renovation project. To which we responded with the same boldness, the same attitude towards accepting the challenge for further growth.

And that’s because we believe in our message, in our vision, we know that what we want to offer is of value, not just to get us by.

We know that what we give from that place of conscious intention is going to come back to us anyway.

Working through blocks

We had to work through a lot of blocks to make these big decisions during such uncertain times. But we also knew that we couldn't carry on living the way we did.

For me personally this meant really committing to my inner work through:

· being as present as possible with my experience in the moment so that I can respond to life as I choose as opposed to react unconsciously

· working through my fears and feelings of restriction and isolation

· engaging in practices that help me connect with myself

· committing myself to all the self-care possible

· finding space and pleasure in small things every day

· being part of a women’s circle where I could share my heart and be supported

The future is bright

I’m happy to report that our hard work and trust in the process is paying off. The more we feel expanded by following through with the house the more life is working out in the most peculiar ways.

The renovation plans that we thought were impossible to carry out financially are now being planned in and we are finding ways to create the home we want despite the challenges and uncertainty.

What’s the most rewarding part is that being suddenly activated to do something about a situation that felt unliveable now means that we get to enjoy what we always wanted sooner. We ended up with a house that is better than what we thought we could get, and we have laid out the foundations for our online business from which we can start to expand even more.

I hope this is a story of expansion and hope for anyone who may think that periods of crisis are about contraction and lack of opportunity.

When you believe in what you do, finding a way to make things work becomes a mission that makes this process enjoyable and fulfilling.

I’m grateful to be able to say that I’m living my purpose.

ABOUT ELENA ZOE

Welcome to my online portal!

I am a former Googler reborn as conscious & self-aware living advocate.

I’m a speaker, writer and coach passionate about helping people live their best lives by tapping into the Source of their truth, power and true desire.

I offer individual mentoring and online programs, and I lead transformational expeditions in nature.

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